Flamenco on My Mind

I just love this song titled "Zambra" by Estrella Morente. Check out her hand movements...they're beautiful!

Zambra Lyrics by Estrella Morente:

Quítate de la ventana porque voy a suspirar
Mis suspiros son de fuego y te pueden abrazar
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué Quieres de Mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir

Tiene mi madre un perro, tenía mi madre un perro
Que cada vez que le dabas resortes salen granillos de arroz
Que cada vez que le dabas resorte salen granillos de arroz

Y a la hora que es de la muerte que no ponédmelos por delante
Que como loca me los tostó y el corazón se me parte
Y a la hora que es de la muerte que no ponédmelos por delante
Que como loca me los tostó y el corazón se me parte

Quítate de la ventana porque voy a suspirar
Mis suspiros son de fuego y te pueden abrazar
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir.
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

I feel a bit sheepish after my last entry, but I needed to vent my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations with what’s been going on in my life.

On Friday, my sis Linda came over to help me with my classroom, and we got loads of work done. My classroom looks better. I just need a few finishing touches like colorful posters, plants, stuffed animals, and an area carpet with pillows. Once that’s in place, then my class will look top notch.

On Saturday, Leigh and I went to the optometrist’s to get our eyes checked for both contact lenses and glasses. We ended up getting our contact lenses and a prescription for eyeglasses. Then we headed to the mall, which I was dreading. I do not normally like to shop for clothing, and I thought that this day was going to be a stressful one by finding clothes that were either too long, too tight, or too unappealing. However, I was shocked since I hit the jackpot with one shopping department store: MACY’S. It was my first time ever in this store, and I found everything I needed there. I was so overjoyed! On our way out, I was even spoilt since Leigh bought me some perfume. I was enthralled because I looooooove shopping for perfume (and books and I’ve also been known to get excited in grocery stores that stock worldly cheeses, mushrooms,etc…) Anyway, we had a lovely shopping experience and then we ate lunch/dinner before coming back home.

The nurse Rachel rang me to inform us of Mom’s sugar levels which were unbelievably high. The first reading was 415 and then the second was 400. So the dr. ordered two insulin injection to lower the numbers. But she promised me that they were going to keep a watchful eye on Mom, and they were also going to test her levels three times a day. And once her levels were reading 150 or lower, then they would discontinue the insulin shots.

Today was Sunday, and we spent the afternoon shopping for groceries. During this time, I got a phone call from Sylvia, my eldest sister. She was informing me that Alicia, sis #2, had been to see Mom at lunchtime and that Mom was having to eat lunch in her bedroom since they were remodeling the dining room. This led me to question if Alicia had stayed with Mom to assist her with eating. She didn’t. And that set me off. I came unglued in the Produce section when I learnt that. I mean, what is wrong with her? Why would she have Sylvia ring me up to tell me about this dilemma yet do NOTHING to rectify the situation? Instead, she drove over 45 mins to go shop at the Wal-Mart here in town when there’s one a few seconds away from the facility. It really agitated me because I cannot comprehend her behavior. What would it have cost her to stay A FEW MINUTES with Mom to help her eat?

Anyway, Rachel (the nurse) rang me up thirty mins later to tell me that sis #2 was being demanding and adamant about knowing how much food Mother had eaten (she had eaten 100%) and what her sugar levels were (they were 232). After Rachel told her this info, she realized that she shouldn’t have so she called me to tell me of her mistake. I told her not to worry about it because they have so many people to look after that little mishaps like that were bound to happen. Plus, I explained that I had chewed out sis #2 (via Sylvia) because she had not stayed to help Mom eat. Instead, she found it more important to come shop at Wal-Mart. The nurse sighed and laughed. She said that she rarely sees sis#2 visiting. Yep, I told her that’s why she’s being bossy right now---she is trying to make up for not seeing Mom 29 out of the 31 days of the month. Sorry, but the truth hurts.

It took me a good while to calm down, and Leigh worked on distracting me while we were in the food aisles. But, eventually I did, and soon I found myself enthralled with the selection of spices, which I love to collect. The aroma of spices in the kitchen make me happy. They also remind me of Mom. She loved collecting spices, and she’d use them to make scrumptious meals that my sister and I both miss. But collecting (and using) them makes me feel a connection to Mom.

When we got home, I made comfort food for Leigh and myself. We needed something to make us happy. And so we had pot roast with rice, beans, and garlic bread. Yum Yum! I feel competent and whole when I am cooking. It makes me feel calm and I am truly alive in that moment---just like dance class. Somehow I don’t think it would be wise to dance while I cook. That might be dangerous. Lol!

At the moment, Leigh, Rocco and Theo are fast asleep while I type away. I still need to get my clothes laid out for tomorrow’s first day back at work (without the kiddos). Gosh, Summer has been a fleeting moment. Each day sort of melted into the next, and before I knew it, Summer was over.

Cleaning the Classroom and Flamenco Clase

This week has been unbelievably tumultuous. Well, Monday was rather busy since I scrubbed the classroom from top to bottom, and by the time I knew it, I had to rush home to get showered and dressed up for Flamenco clase. Flamenco clase was very demanding on my body after the day I had had, but it feels good to dance. I feel as if I'm in the moment when I'm dancing. Once class was over, I purchased a CD from our dance instructor to practice more at home and then I got take out for Leigh and myself. When I arrived home, I found Theo on top of a very frustrated Leigh, who had had a rough evening with him because he decided to turn into evil Stitch. And when I was home Theo turned cute and cuddly once again.

Tuesday was another day of cleaning, and on this day, I stayed cleaning until 6 pm. Margaret stayed this late as well, so I didn't feel too spooked about being in the building. But I did feel too overworked since I over did things by carrying items that were too heavy and moving them myself. And once my body's muscles cooled down, I felt stiff and had a backache. Serves me right for not learning!

Wednesday was a workshop training, and I was a tad frustrated because we have to type out our lesson plans in a six weeks format as well as in a weekly format. And today we only managed to get FIVE DAYS DONE...arghhhhhhhhhhh! And this was only for ONE SUBJECT (and we're teaching two!) So, at the end of the day, I was overly stressed out with a bad headache so I retreated to my classroom to clean a bit. Until I was told some news that distressed me. One of the janitors told me that my biological father and his bimbo drug-user gf were playing house at Mom's house. What she said made my blood boil (even though I know it shouldn't because I had already suspected that they both had sold Mom's possessions.) This news (combined with the stress of the day) was the straw that broke the camel's back, and so I decided to just go home and lick my wounds. I made it to the parking lot and rang Leigh on the phone. And I burst into tears like a crazed madwoman. Who knows if anyone saw me there blubbering like a baby? I don't care. I was stressed, angry, and sad all rolled up into one, and I needed to vent to Leigh, who listened as patiently as he always does.

Thursday was another day of cleaning my classroom (by this time I'm getting a bit annoyed, especially since I wanted to get everything done by today so that tomorrow would be a FREE day for me to visit Mom.) At noontime, Sylvia and Amy invited me to have lunch with them. I joined them at the Sub Sandwich Shop, and then Amy came back with me to the classroom to help me a bit. She constructed files for me as I cleaned and we both scared each other with scary stories. Hehe...we had fun. At this time, I got a strange phone call.

My nephew Danny rang me and then his grandma took the phone away from him. She wanted to tell me that my biological father was in a bad state and had been taken on the HALO Flight to Corpus Christi. He apparently had been chasing a rattlesnake and had gotten stung by 100 bees or so. And his blood pressure was too low and things didn't look good. My first thoughts were I'm not going to his funeral if he dies.I thanked her for calling, and I rang Sylvia and Linda. I had no desire to go all the way to Corpus to see him. As far as I'm concerned, he is dead to me. Everything that he has done to Mom, he has done to me. Everything he did to Penny my beloved dog, he has done to me. And because of that, I have no pity, no sadness, no guilt, no sympathy, and no feelings of kindness or civility towards him. I detest him, and I will never attend his funeral.

We rang the police and wanted to make sure that his bimbo wasn't at the house, and the two police officers came by to find that there was a dog in the backyard without food or water. They were going to call the animal control shelter because this is animal cruelty, and one officer was fuming. I explained to him that I fought for Penny for many many months but the incompetent worker at the animal shelter kept telling me that Penny wasn't being mistreated. Well, Penny died, and that sorry excuse of a biological father dumped Penny's golden white body into a big trash bag and dumped him at the city dump. How do I know? The next door neighbors told me, and I wept like a child.He robbed me of caring for Penny. He robbed me of giving Penny comfort and happiness for the last months of his life. And I hate that man. I hate him to his wicked and selfish core. And I hope that he knows that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, Friday and Saturday

On Thursday, I spent the entire day in my classroom cleaning out the closets and organizing all of my materials. I scrubbed them clean purging all of the dust mice and any trace residue left from the past. I actually found an item from 1977 in the bottom shelf tucked into a far corner! It was a glue spray can from the Winn's Store, which we no longer even have in this town anymore!!! I was only 6 years old back then! Gosh, how the years fly by! I felt very nostalgic when I was cleaning the room by myself. Mom loved to come help me get my classroom ready. She always made it a point to bring me some ivy plants to decorate my room or she'd come by and arrange books on the bookshelves for me. I miss her so much.

Yesterday when I was at the doctor's office, I truly thought that she was going to walk in at any moment. She'd usually meet up with me at the dr's if I was ill, and each time the door opened I expected to see her face. I almost cried when those thoughts came crashing down on me. Imagine that! The other strangers in the lobby would have thought that I was losing my mind.But, fortunately for them, my name was called out by the nurse, and off I went into one of the many patient rooms.

On Friday, I went to the school to work on my room, and one of the teachers opened the school for me (since there are no janitors working on Fridays during summertime.) So I was alone in the building for about an hour or so, and I had the heebie jeebies for awhile, especially since the hallways were dark and I've been told too many creepy tales about things that people have seen or heard while working in the early morning hours. But I just focused on the job ahead of me, and I scrubbed and cleaned the two closets that I was intent on getting readied by today. At noonish, I left and went on my way to visit Mom. We played Bingo, and Mom ate snacks with her diet soda. My stomach was all jumbled, so I just drank tea.

Leigh and I were supposed to go out for dinner, but instead he ordered take-out for us due to me feeling a bit queasy.

As for Saturday, Leigh worked for most of the morning, and he got home at noontime. For the remainder of the day, we stayed at home. I ended up falling asleep, and at one point Leigh said that he had wanted to photograph all three pets and myself since we were all dozing at the same time. Lol!

Here are some more photos of Leigh and Theodore (who is now nicknamed "Stitch" from the movie "Lilo and Stitch" when he gets into his cute, fuzzy, and mischievous moods.)

And the kitten's name is.....

Today we picked up the trio from the vet's, and it was time to name the smallest member of the bunch. Both Leigh and I decided on "Theodore", which comes from the Greek origin meaning "Divine Gift". We liked this name because of it's meaning as well as the flexibility in calling the kitten "Theo" or "Teddy" (just like the charming and fun-loving character Theodore "Laurie" Laurence in the book Little Women).

The trio of furry friends were excited to see us once again (just as we were!!!!) After picking them up from the vets, we got them settled in. Then it was time for me to attend Flamenco dance class.We learnt the many different ways to move our hands and body--using the correct rigid posture, that is. I loved it!!!

This Weekend

Hmmm…Many things have occurred since I last blogged on here. First of all, after being a hermit crab on Friday, Leigh’s boss invited us up to his ranch for the weekend. So on Saturday, after a whirlwind of packing and preparing our three pets for a trip to the veterinarian’s, we finally left the house. The two older pets misbehaved more than our lil’ one, who was a curious cherub riding in the vehicle. When we got there, all three were taken to the adjoining room, and by that time, I missed them, especially the kitten who began meowing when he heard our voices. By then, I wanted to change my mind and stay at home instead of going away for the weekend.

We finally met up with Leigh’s boss and his girlfriend, and we drove and drove until we reached Kerrville. Then we went on the outskirts of town and entered the ranch, which seemed like a totally different world with all of the beautiful wildlife there. We picked up the trailer and headed into Ingram (or Harper, I can’t recall) to pick up the Polaris. Then we drove back to the ranch to ride on the Polaris. Leigh and I rode on the backseat of the Polaris, and since the seat hadn’t been stabilized, I felt as if I was riding on a rollercoaster with too much turbulence. I was petrified on the Polaris!!!!!!!!! LOL! Leigh hugged me to keep me feeling a bit more safer, especially since I had one injured elbow that stifled me a bit from holding on as tight as I liked. Plus, I’ve never ridden in a vehicle like that. I did, however, enjoy the freedom of riding all over the ranch grounds, whether the terrain was rocky, at an incline, or full of cacti. That was pretty cool, especially when you were able to see a Rhea, Llama, Jackrabbit, etc up close. That more than made up for the terrifying ride..lol. But, if you ask me, I much prefer riding on the front seat of the Polaris---it feels less intimidating because you’re closer to the ground. Haha.

We took zillions of photos of the animals at the ranch, but one photo that I would have loved was the baby raccoon hugging the tree when we spotted him. Unfortunately, at that time, my camera’s battery expired so we only got a pic of momma and baby raccoons posterior view. Then the camera shut down and that photographic opportunity vanished like smoke.

At night, we managed to drive to Fredericksburg for dinner. We ate at a place called Auslander Biergarten Restaurant, and the food was delicious! It was first time I had eaten Pumpernickel Bread, Sausage, and Sauerkraut, which I loved!

We searched for a hotel to stay at, and we ended up at the Budget Host Deluxe Inn since the Super 8 was completely booked. The place was quaint, and I thought it appeared to be very homey. I settled into the room while Leigh dashed across the street to buy some ice cream (yes, he spotted a Dairy Queen..lol). I removed my contact lenses, and I was in the middle of changing clothes so that I could sit outdoors with Leigh, his boss, and Patti. All of a sudden, I felt dizzy and nauseous. I held onto the sink for stability, and I got sick. I couldn’t focus my eyes at all, and I held onto the wall until I reached the front door to call Leigh.

He came inside and helped me get dressed. By that time, my fingers had twisted into an odd curve and I couldn’t move them. I was so frightened because I couldn’t control my hands—much less feel them. My breathing pattern was very quick, and I felt as if I couldn’t get enough air. I never felt so ill (or so horrified because I felt helpless!) However, Leigh massaged my fingers, and I was able to move my hands again. Yet, I still felt ill and strange. I got sick one more time, and then all of a sudden,my body felt better. My breathing grew normal again, and I felt normal once again. I was able to drink some tea after awhile, and then I felt good enough to take shower. After this ordeal, I was too scared to fall asleep, so I remained awake until 2 a.m. watching Dominik Dunne’s tv episodes of Power and Privelege.

I do not know what caused this reaction. Maybe it was the sun since I had spent most of the afternoon outdoors? Was it a combination of the meds I’m taking and the food I ate? Was it an allergic reaction of some sort? Who knows? I wish I did.

On Sunday, Leigh and I roamed around in downtown Fredericksburg while Glenn and his gf went to the hardware store. We stopped at the Fredericksburg Bakery, which had homemade bread and an assortment of pastries. I barely ate (since I was still wary of last night’s episode) but I did drink my soda. After this, we went window shopping, and then we found the public restrooms, which was when we stumbled upon the beautiful gardens that they have in the town square. Ohh, this place was full of crepe myrtles, sage, vines, an enormous Whomping Willow (yes, it’s a Weeping Willow, but I prefer the Harry Potter connection…lol),etc. Plus, there was a wheel being turned with water, and this looked so rustic.

Glenn and his gf met up with us, and off we went to the Longhorn Restaurant in Harper before heading to the ranch once again. As before, I got on the Polaris, and as before, I was hanging on for dear life…lmao! I should have felt more comfy, especially since the backseat was stabilized. But, you know me, I’m a stickler for worrying. So I held onto the bars at all times. I finally managed to ride in the front seat, and Leigh laughed at me when he saw me belted in tight with my seatbelt. I was as proud as punch and ready to sightsee. I was also the only one wearing a seatbelt…lol. But, hey, I like feeling safe.

Patti and I stayed by the watering hole while Leigh and Glenn fixed a water pipe. Patti forgot something at the truck so she walked back while I stayed alone at the watering hole. I was getting ready for photograph some birds in the tree when I heard a loud noise. And there I saw the Llama who was just as curious of me as I was of him. He came by a few times to observe me. It was quite funny.

After a few hours, Patti and I went in search of Leigh and Glenn. They were still fixing the pipes, but they were almost done. At 6:30ish, we finally left and headed back home. We stopped a few times along the way, but we finally got home at 1:00 a.m.. We had to unpack, clean, and shower before heading to bed. Then it was 2:00 a.m.

And that about sums up our trip. Leigh and I really loved the places we saw ,and we’d love to go back to Kerrville, Harper, Ingram, and Fredericksburg.

At Home Resting Today

Yesterday, I ran all sorts of errands---paid bills, typed and mailed letters, etc before going to visit Mom at the home. She was doing well, and she enjoyed a nice snack of chips and a diet drink while I was visiting with her. I soon had to leave since I had a doc's appointment due to having a bit of probs with my elbow. At the docs, I had an outpatient surgery done on my elbow. Apparently, it was a cyst growing bigger (even though many months earlier I had told the dr that that area was bugging me and he just said "Oh it's a mosquito bite." If it had been nipped in the bud, I wouldn't have gone through all of this discomfort--not to mention pain. I'm doing okay though. Some things are hard to do with the use of one arm, but I have been quite patient with doing things slowly--like getting dressed. (Don't ask me how skilled I was at the store when I had to get my prescription meds while trying to steer a shopping cart with wheels that veered off in the opposite direction of where I intended to go..lol!)

I spent most of today on lying on the couch, and I do find it quite coincidental that after all of yesterday's running about like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get things done and in order. I guess some sort of cosmic forces were telling me not to procrastinate yesterday since I'd be homebound today. Either way, I'm glad that I listened to my inner gut feeling.

Leigh's been a sweetheart as usual through all of this. And I've had takeout two days in a row. I'm still on my diet though and jotting down my meals in a food diary. And yesterday I did find out that I lost 7 1/2 pounds. Yayyyy!

Hope everyone has a fab weekend. I'm off for now to go rest some more.