Saturday, September 27, 2008
A few days of being a hermit
Friday, September 12, 2008
I have been drowning in a flood of paperwork at work
Friday, August 29, 2008
I finally bought a skirt...for dance class, that is!
Yes, it's been ages since I've last blogged. School has taken up most of my time, and I've just finished one full week of teaching. Before that, I was on a cleaning rampage. Now, I have a bit of relaxing time, and I can't decide what to do because it feels bizarre to slow down from a fast pace of work, work, work, and work. But, I am now trying to catch up to what has last happened since I documented the drama of our lives.
Theo the kitten has been a terror with both Rocco and Shak, but this moodiness changes once it's bedtime. Then he gets all sweet and cuddly. It's as if he has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome.
Tonight it has been raining on and off , and both Leigh and I are relaxing. Two days ago, Mom's hand was injured when some inconsiderate nurse smashed Mom's hand with the tray (again!) I was furious, and I'd love to find out who this incompetent individual is so that I can get her fired from her job. She has no business working with the elderly if she is not careful or caring with them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, for now, the home has no idea who it could be---but then again, when do they ever?? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Flamenco/Belly Dance class has kept me feeling happier than I have been. I don't know if it's the yoga or just the sheer fun of dancing (or both) that makes life seem easier if only for a few hours. Either way, I enjoy attending class. Plus, I finally did make a purchase on a skirt that can be used for both Flamenco and Belly Dancing. I am a bit nervous about whether I made the right choice or not, but I decided to take the plunge and spend a tad bit on myself. Yes, this new passion of mine is costing a bit of money. But I've been very watchful of not overdoing it. (If you don't count the two cds I purchased a few weeks ago...lol.) Other than that, I have been angelic. Here's what the skirt looks like:
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Flamenco on My Mind
I just love this song titled "Zambra" by Estrella Morente. Check out her hand movements...they're beautiful!
Zambra Lyrics by Estrella Morente:
Quítate de la ventana porque voy a suspirar
Mis suspiros son de fuego y te pueden abrazar
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué Quieres de Mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir
Tiene mi madre un perro, tenía mi madre un perro
Que cada vez que le dabas resortes salen granillos de arroz
Que cada vez que le dabas resorte salen granillos de arroz
Y a la hora que es de la muerte que no ponédmelos por delante
Que como loca me los tostó y el corazón se me parte
Y a la hora que es de la muerte que no ponédmelos por delante
Que como loca me los tostó y el corazón se me parte
Quítate de la ventana porque voy a suspirar
Mis suspiros son de fuego y te pueden abrazar
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir.
¿Qué quieres de mí? ¿Qué quieres de mí?
Si hasta el agua que yo bebo te la tengo que pedir.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
I feel a bit sheepish after my last entry, but I needed to vent my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations with what’s been going on in my life.
On Friday, my sis Linda came over to help me with my classroom, and we got loads of work done. My classroom looks better. I just need a few finishing touches like colorful posters, plants, stuffed animals, and an area carpet with pillows. Once that’s in place, then my class will look top notch.
On Saturday, Leigh and I went to the optometrist’s to get our eyes checked for both contact lenses and glasses. We ended up getting our contact lenses and a prescription for eyeglasses. Then we headed to the mall, which I was dreading. I do not normally like to shop for clothing, and I thought that this day was going to be a stressful one by finding clothes that were either too long, too tight, or too unappealing. However, I was shocked since I hit the jackpot with one shopping department store: MACY’S. It was my first time ever in this store, and I found everything I needed there. I was so overjoyed! On our way out, I was even spoilt since Leigh bought me some perfume. I was enthralled because I looooooove shopping for perfume (and books and I’ve also been known to get excited in grocery stores that stock worldly cheeses, mushrooms,etc…) Anyway, we had a lovely shopping experience and then we ate lunch/dinner before coming back home.
The nurse Rachel rang me to inform us of Mom’s sugar levels which were unbelievably high. The first reading was 415 and then the second was 400. So the dr. ordered two insulin injection to lower the numbers. But she promised me that they were going to keep a watchful eye on Mom, and they were also going to test her levels three times a day. And once her levels were reading 150 or lower, then they would discontinue the insulin shots.
Today was Sunday, and we spent the afternoon shopping for groceries. During this time, I got a phone call from Sylvia, my eldest sister. She was informing me that Alicia, sis #2, had been to see Mom at lunchtime and that Mom was having to eat lunch in her bedroom since they were remodeling the dining room. This led me to question if Alicia had stayed with Mom to assist her with eating. She didn’t. And that set me off. I came unglued in the Produce section when I learnt that. I mean, what is wrong with her? Why would she have Sylvia ring me up to tell me about this dilemma yet do NOTHING to rectify the situation? Instead, she drove over 45 mins to go shop at the Wal-Mart here in town when there’s one a few seconds away from the facility. It really agitated me because I cannot comprehend her behavior. What would it have cost her to stay A FEW MINUTES with Mom to help her eat?
Anyway, Rachel (the nurse) rang me up thirty mins later to tell me that sis #2 was being demanding and adamant about knowing how much food Mother had eaten (she had eaten 100%) and what her sugar levels were (they were 232). After Rachel told her this info, she realized that she shouldn’t have so she called me to tell me of her mistake. I told her not to worry about it because they have so many people to look after that little mishaps like that were bound to happen. Plus, I explained that I had chewed out sis #2 (via Sylvia) because she had not stayed to help Mom eat. Instead, she found it more important to come shop at Wal-Mart. The nurse sighed and laughed. She said that she rarely sees sis#2 visiting. Yep, I told her that’s why she’s being bossy right now---she is trying to make up for not seeing Mom 29 out of the 31 days of the month. Sorry, but the truth hurts.
It took me a good while to calm down, and Leigh worked on distracting me while we were in the food aisles. But, eventually I did, and soon I found myself enthralled with the selection of spices, which I love to collect. The aroma of spices in the kitchen make me happy. They also remind me of Mom. She loved collecting spices, and she’d use them to make scrumptious meals that my sister and I both miss. But collecting (and using) them makes me feel a connection to Mom.
When we got home, I made comfort food for Leigh and myself. We needed something to make us happy. And so we had pot roast with rice, beans, and garlic bread. Yum Yum! I feel competent and whole when I am cooking. It makes me feel calm and I am truly alive in that moment---just like dance class. Somehow I don’t think it would be wise to dance while I cook. That might be dangerous. Lol!
At the moment, Leigh, Rocco and Theo are fast asleep while I type away. I still need to get my clothes laid out for tomorrow’s first day back at work (without the kiddos). Gosh, Summer has been a fleeting moment. Each day sort of melted into the next, and before I knew it, Summer was over.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Cleaning the Classroom and Flamenco Clase
This week has been unbelievably tumultuous. Well, Monday was rather busy since I scrubbed the classroom from top to bottom, and by the time I knew it, I had to rush home to get showered and dressed up for Flamenco clase. Flamenco clase was very demanding on my body after the day I had had, but it feels good to dance. I feel as if I'm in the moment when I'm dancing. Once class was over, I purchased a CD from our dance instructor to practice more at home and then I got take out for Leigh and myself. When I arrived home, I found Theo on top of a very frustrated Leigh, who had had a rough evening with him because he decided to turn into evil Stitch. And when I was home Theo turned cute and cuddly once again.
Tuesday was another day of cleaning, and on this day, I stayed cleaning until 6 pm. Margaret stayed this late as well, so I didn't feel too spooked about being in the building. But I did feel too overworked since I over did things by carrying items that were too heavy and moving them myself. And once my body's muscles cooled down, I felt stiff and had a backache. Serves me right for not learning!
Wednesday was a workshop training, and I was a tad frustrated because we have to type out our lesson plans in a six weeks format as well as in a weekly format. And today we only managed to get FIVE DAYS DONE...arghhhhhhhhhhh! And this was only for ONE SUBJECT (and we're teaching two!) So, at the end of the day, I was overly stressed out with a bad headache so I retreated to my classroom to clean a bit. Until I was told some news that distressed me. One of the janitors told me that my biological father and his bimbo drug-user gf were playing house at Mom's house. What she said made my blood boil (even though I know it shouldn't because I had already suspected that they both had sold Mom's possessions.) This news (combined with the stress of the day) was the straw that broke the camel's back, and so I decided to just go home and lick my wounds. I made it to the parking lot and rang Leigh on the phone. And I burst into tears like a crazed madwoman. Who knows if anyone saw me there blubbering like a baby? I don't care. I was stressed, angry, and sad all rolled up into one, and I needed to vent to Leigh, who listened as patiently as he always does.
Thursday was another day of cleaning my classroom (by this time I'm getting a bit annoyed, especially since I wanted to get everything done by today so that tomorrow would be a FREE day for me to visit Mom.) At noontime, Sylvia and Amy invited me to have lunch with them. I joined them at the Sub Sandwich Shop, and then Amy came back with me to the classroom to help me a bit. She constructed files for me as I cleaned and we both scared each other with scary stories. Hehe...we had fun. At this time, I got a strange phone call.
My nephew Danny rang me and then his grandma took the phone away from him. She wanted to tell me that my biological father was in a bad state and had been taken on the HALO Flight to Corpus Christi. He apparently had been chasing a rattlesnake and had gotten stung by 100 bees or so. And his blood pressure was too low and things didn't look good. My first thoughts were I'm not going to his funeral if he dies.I thanked her for calling, and I rang Sylvia and Linda. I had no desire to go all the way to Corpus to see him. As far as I'm concerned, he is dead to me. Everything that he has done to Mom, he has done to me. Everything he did to Penny my beloved dog, he has done to me. And because of that, I have no pity, no sadness, no guilt, no sympathy, and no feelings of kindness or civility towards him. I detest him, and I will never attend his funeral.
We rang the police and wanted to make sure that his bimbo wasn't at the house, and the two police officers came by to find that there was a dog in the backyard without food or water. They were going to call the animal control shelter because this is animal cruelty, and one officer was fuming. I explained to him that I fought for Penny for many many months but the incompetent worker at the animal shelter kept telling me that Penny wasn't being mistreated. Well, Penny died, and that sorry excuse of a biological father dumped Penny's golden white body into a big trash bag and dumped him at the city dump. How do I know? The next door neighbors told me, and I wept like a child.He robbed me of caring for Penny. He robbed me of giving Penny comfort and happiness for the last months of his life. And I hate that man. I hate him to his wicked and selfish core. And I hope that he knows that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Thursday, Friday and Saturday
On Thursday, I spent the entire day in my classroom cleaning out the closets and organizing all of my materials. I scrubbed them clean purging all of the dust mice and any trace residue left from the past. I actually found an item from 1977 in the bottom shelf tucked into a far corner! It was a glue spray can from the Winn's Store, which we no longer even have in this town anymore!!! I was only 6 years old back then! Gosh, how the years fly by! I felt very nostalgic when I was cleaning the room by myself. Mom loved to come help me get my classroom ready. She always made it a point to bring me some ivy plants to decorate my room or she'd come by and arrange books on the bookshelves for me. I miss her so much.
Yesterday when I was at the doctor's office, I truly thought that she was going to walk in at any moment. She'd usually meet up with me at the dr's if I was ill, and each time the door opened I expected to see her face. I almost cried when those thoughts came crashing down on me. Imagine that! The other strangers in the lobby would have thought that I was losing my mind.But, fortunately for them, my name was called out by the nurse, and off I went into one of the many patient rooms.
On Friday, I went to the school to work on my room, and one of the teachers opened the school for me (since there are no janitors working on Fridays during summertime.) So I was alone in the building for about an hour or so, and I had the heebie jeebies for awhile, especially since the hallways were dark and I've been told too many creepy tales about things that people have seen or heard while working in the early morning hours. But I just focused on the job ahead of me, and I scrubbed and cleaned the two closets that I was intent on getting readied by today. At noonish, I left and went on my way to visit Mom. We played Bingo, and Mom ate snacks with her diet soda. My stomach was all jumbled, so I just drank tea.
Leigh and I were supposed to go out for dinner, but instead he ordered take-out for us due to me feeling a bit queasy.
As for Saturday, Leigh worked for most of the morning, and he got home at noontime. For the remainder of the day, we stayed at home. I ended up falling asleep, and at one point Leigh said that he had wanted to photograph all three pets and myself since we were all dozing at the same time. Lol!
Here are some more photos of Leigh and Theodore (who is now nicknamed "Stitch" from the movie "Lilo and Stitch" when he gets into his cute, fuzzy, and mischievous moods.)