Flu

I haven't been blogging since the past two weeks I have had the flu. I was off for one week, and the following week I went to work ( how I managed to do that with little energy I don't know but I barely made it!) Two doctor visits and a couple of hundred dollars later, I'm still feeling yucky.

I Will Remember You...Will You Remember Me?

This week has been a tough one. I have not wanted to move one item in the house yet, I wanted to be anywhere else except at home. It seemed that if the pile of laundry on the bathroom floor should be picked up and be done, but if I did so I’d erase any trace of Theo that was left on the garments, which he so dearly loved and kneaded with his tiny, razor-sharp claws (whether he was invited or not..lol). On that Monday,Rocco was teary eyed and Shak slipped into our bedroom to snuggle against us while we both dealt with this melancholy.

I slipped into my Why-even-bother mode wanting to deny myself everything I enjoy because it made me feel as if I enjoyed life, I was somehow forgetting Theo, which would not be possible because he possessed the joie de vivre in everything that surrounded him from the wads of paper he'd bat with his paws to my long hair which looked enticing to him when it swayed. And Tuesday morning, I had made my mind on not attending class and never ever touching my sewing machine again. But, on Tuesday, I found myself bawling because the thought of going to an empty house at the end of the school day was too difficult to fathom. So, I found myself rushing into the house, throwing on some clothes and leaving the house in record time just so that I wouldn’t see anything that would make me become more maudlin. I turned off the radio for the majority of the road trip, prayed that I’d have a sign that Theo was somehow happier and at peace, and when I later turned the radio on, the following song came on.

Sarah McLachlin's masterpiece "I Will Remember You":

And I attended belly dance class after dropping off to see Leigh at the office. In the late evening, Leigh and I met for dinner. Then on the way home, this song played on the Delilah Show as I drove with tears rolling down my cheeks. Another song by Sarah McLachlan called "In The Arms of an Angel":

Wednesday was a day of work, after school tutoring, a surprise faculty meeting, and a trip to the grocery store. When I got home, the tv blared loudly while both Shak and Rocco were outdoors. I made chicken pot pie for our dinner. The time I used in cooking left me only a few minutes to grade papers and watch “Stylista”, which was the only night I watched television.

Thursday afternoon I went to the doctor’s office because I had a bad cough/cold/flu, and I needed meds.

My Immortal

I've been beside myself today. I miss Theo so much, and I know that Leigh misses him as well. I was a wreck of tears this morning, when I didn't have him compete with me to reach the bathroom first (our norma a.m. ritual). Then I saw that my makeup bag was intact...no contents had mysteriously spilt over due to his curiosity...and my contact lens case was on the end table and not on the floor like it usually was since he loved batting it with his paws throughout the nighttime. All of these memories came back and hit my heavy heart full force. I have grieved for pets before but it's been awhile since I dropped all of my brick walls of reserve and loved Theo without any boundaries. And we miss him dearly. The house seems as though it is hollow.

Evanescence singing "My Immortal" sums up my emotions today:

Theodore

Brown Beret

This morning I completed my brown and pink polka dotted beret. Voila! This is fun! Now that I know how to do this, I can make some more berets and then move onto making the curtains for the second bedroom, which has been converted to a place where we enjoy our hobbies of dance, exercising,sewing, amateur radio, radio control repairs,etc.... I am thinking of going with pink gingham for the curtains but we'll see if that idea isn't vetoed..lol. I think it might brighten the room up. However, I still have my hand warmers to finish sewing as well as the apron. Gosh, I wish my vacation would last longer so I could sew more!!!!!

Sighhhhhhhhhhh------This Song Evokes Dreaminess

Iron and Wine's Sam Beam has a voice that makes one get lost in memories of innocence....What a Genius! Here he is singing "Flightless Bird" from the movie Twilight:

Black Friday

At 4:15 a.m., my alarm clock was blaring out a song that was TOO LOUD for that time of the morning. However, I got out of bed and got dressed. And my sister, niece, and I headed to Wal-Mart for the good sales that had been advertised in the circular. Ahhhh, it was exhilarating finding good bargains. Once we finally paid for our purchases, we headed out for breakfast, and by the time we knew it, we were headed off to other stores that were out of town. Then, at 11 a.m., we were in the cinema watching "Twilight", which is such a beautiful tale of love involving a mortal with a vampire. The setting of the movie is both eerie and breathtaking, and I am now such a fan!

I am now reading the first book of the series (also titled Twilight).